If you don't
agree or understand, or if you have challenges with your sexuality
and enjoying sex, it's probably due to one or more of the following:
|You were raised
The American media inparticilar are outright prudes. Photos, ads or film of breasts, nipples, G-strings and ass are taboo (you guys are behind the rest of the world, grow up!).
You follow a religious group that teaches sex is bad. 'Born again' Americans think gays are evil ... get over it! Homosexual hearts are no different than yours.
You were raped or abused.
You are afraid of masturbation. You dislike your body.
You don't feel safe.
You don't remember the last time you had sex. You DO remember the last time you had sex!
You're uncomfortable expressing who you are. You don't KNOW who you are.
You're afraid to show your feelings. You're angry, jealous, insecure, shy, afraid...
You're a virgin. You're dead!? You're an alien.
NOTE: If you were raped or abused, time WILL heal. However, you must get help.
You must talk about it, in order to release the negative energy inside
your cells, and you absolutely must ... surround yourself with loving, supportive
As hard as it is to understand, the man that violated you is weak,
insecure and feels powerless. You must decide at some point, to not
spend the rest of your life carrying inside you the hurt and anger the
rapist carries inside himself.
It was extremely challenging to write this. I had to think about people of all ages, backgrounds and belief systems. Most young people today only have to listen to rap music to get a graphic quick sexual education, and music videos show plenty of sexuality. Sooo ... whether you've heard this stuff before or don't have a clue, maybe it's time for you to really express yourself, change your physiology, stop whining (don't even start), and read this page for the hell of it. Life is about choices, so make some new ones!
Many parts of the world openly express sexuality and full nudity in print, on TV and in films. So those of you who are afraid of sex and sexuality, for whatever reason, it's time to lighten up, grow up, get over it and express naturally who you are within.
It is a natural expression of feelings and emotions. It is needed for the body to be completely balanced and healthy. It is WHO YOU ARE! The entire world revolves around the interaction of male and female energy. It is life itself.
You predominantly dress as a female or male. This is expression of sexuality. You are attracted daily to images and people around you, whether they be in person or media based. This is sexual attraction and sexuality.
If sex, nudity and sexuality offends you, than it is life itself that offends you. There is no escape other than leaving the planet.
Can you live and breathe everyday denying who you are? It's not possible ... unless you hide yourself in a dark cave under a blanket. Everything you say and do, the clothes you wear, the condition of your body, the way you walk and sit, is a reflection of who you are and how you feel about yourself. So, how do you feel?
Hiding your sexuality and dressing in baggy clothing, acting subservient, timid or aggressive, abusing sex, drugs and alcohol ... will not attract the love, passion and response you desire.
Being extremely thin or overweight is not healthy or attractive either. If you are anorexic or bulimic, get help. Stop crying out to be loved and accepted by slowly killing and crippling your body and DO something about it by reaching out to people who understand. Denial is an act of self victimization.
Ladies, if you only knew... how much power you have! Most men live and love to be, with a woman. What else is there for them besides making money (to spend on you), buying toys (to impress you), and having sex (to feel good). Drinking beer with their mates, playing sports and watching TV, becomes awfully lonely after awhile without female companionship.
Taking a male partner to share life with is NOT an excuse for any woman to refrain from becoming financially independent, fully in control of her body and emotionally balanced with friends and a life of her own.
Why do you? ... dress a certain way, wash and style your hair, put on make-up, clean your teeth, wear perfume and jewelry, watch your diet, get a manicure/facial/massage, play sports, take a shower, etc... Because, you want to be healthy and to look and feel good. Everything we do in life is to ultimately feel good. To be happy. To be loved. Fear, expectations, judgment, manipulation and emotion will deny you this. You will attract back to you, EXACTLY what you put out.
You become happy, loving, glowing, smiling, giving and kind when you have enjoyed sex, touching, cuddling and kissing with a partner. You become sad, depressed, angry, judgmental, critical or vindictive when you have not experienced intimacy and touch for a long time. How often, have you heard "Oh, he/she needs to get layed"? Intimacy, physical connection and closeness is important.
Human beings NEED to touch and be touched. It is a proven medical fact that when babies are denied touch and interaction, they die. Old people, denied the very same, will die sooner than those who still have loving and caring friends around them.
Masturbation is a wonderful way to get to know your body, to become comfortable with expressing yourself, and it keeps your chakras open. What is a chakra? It is one of several core energy centers within the body, on the metaphysical level that regulates sexual energy, health and fitness. If any chakra is shut down, ill health and imbalance physically, mentally and emotionally, is inevitable.
Sex can be had by anyone, anytime. There is no emotional attachment. Making Love is an expression between two people of deep felt emotion and feeling.
Many men are very good at not feeling until they are ready to. Women are confused. They tend to get emotionally attached everytime! Yes ... men are from Mars and women are from Venus.
When you truly fall in love with someone, and they are in love with you too, making love becomes a connection at heart and soul level, that is far beyond the physical. Spiritual oneness and ecstasy can happen.
Sex without love is OK. It is natural to respond to the burning desire and chemistry you feel inside, providing it is mutual. Lust is OK and healthy. To deny it, is not.
For those of you who choose to be celibate, that's OK too, providing you find other ways to give and receive touch.
Regarding sexual preference, that is your choice. If you are comfortable and can live with your choice, that's all that matters. When two people really love each other, gender has NOTHING to do with it.
Use birth control and protection. ALWAYS carry condoms with you, men AND women. Pregnancy changes the course of your life forever, especially if you are a teenager. Sexual disease, herpes, HIV and AIDS are still worldwide. Do not indiscriminately have sex with anyone you barely know. Is one night of passion worth dying for?
Being promiscuous depletes your spirituality, lowers your vibrations, and attracts people who will hurt and abuse you. Frequent casual sex is a cry for help to love yourself and to be loved. Pain, illness and loneliness is the result.
Respect yourself and your body. Do not allow anyone to abuse, use, manipulate or control your sexuality, including yourself! The choices are yours and so are the consequences.
If anyone sexually abuses you, REPORT IT! Tell someone. Get help. NO-ONE, has a right to touch you, without your permission. If you say nothing, you are partly responsible if they do it to you again or to someone else.
Regarding abortion ... It is NOT a form of contraception! It is the ultimate decision of the person who is pregnant. There are consequences either way, especially mentally and emotionally. Choose wisely, after much thought. Consult with friends and family before deciding. Your decision will be irreversible once acted upon.
Learn to ENJOY SEX.
There does not have to be deep emotion to experience tremendous pleasure and physical satisfaction Enjoy, spontaneously being in the moment. Allow yourself to be fulfilled without any expectations. Breathe, RELAX, and have fun!
Tell your lover exactly what you like and dislike. Show him/her how and where you like to be touched. Respond verbally and physically to the pleasure you feel. There is nothing worse than a partner who remains silent and doesn't move. A cold, wet fish is more attractive!
One fine day, out of the blue, the "right" person will appear. Before you know it, you will be experiencing making love and oh, what a difference that is to having sex.
How will you know the difference if you feel uncomfortable with your sexuality. You won't. Will you remain faithful and content forever? Probably not. Miscommunication, lack of communication and bad communication, will lead to separation and infidelity.
Many couples break up due to sexual incompatibility. Did they ever really understand and communicate their sexuality and desires at the beginning of the relationship? Probably not.
A secret to communication and orgasmic sex, is to look into each others eyes. The eyes are windows to the soul. Eyes exchange unspoken words, feelings and emotion. The eyes never lie.
Become open to new paths, experiment, alone or with someone. Explore masturbation, get to know your body, know what turns you on. Learn how to move and to dance without inhibition. Ladies go check out a strip club, you may get some great ideas!
Learn how to give a massage. Practice relaxed breathing. Master the art of flirtation and seduction. Be playful. Mental fantasy and dressing up, adds great excitement. Share your fantasies and maybe even act them out.
Men, learn to take your time. There is no hurry. Sex is not a race or a competition. Focus on giving your partner pleasure and the rewards will be greater than only pleasing yourself. Technique is not important. Size is a personal preference. Foreplay is a MUST! Women need stimulation for at least 15 minutes. Afterplay and cuddling is equally important, so that no one feels used or abandoned and alone. Try different positions and different locations.
First and foremost, learn to love yourself, and to love your body. Then, you will discover the happiness you long for on every level. Freedom, health and happiness, comes from within, not from without.
And now for something completely different ...
Always remember, Sex is FUN! Get creative.
"Your lover grips your neck and locks her legs
around your waist
as you leap into the air. The ground beneath you quakes upon your return.
Never try this with heavy girls or upon weak floors!"
Visit this photo link for the authors GREAT humor,
and learn about numerous sexual positions at the same time.
Huge HIV/AIDS information & resource site
disorder help organizations worldwide
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